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naitteiitomo  part 2 continued from above  

Most tiresome was a visit by Sanma-san, hogging (wasting) so much airtime that all oyaji sempai backstage awaiting their own stage time started filing out to hog (waste) their own chunks of airtime. So many of JTV's-most-annoying filled the stage — The Downtown duo, Tonneruzu, etc — that it seemed as if the whole studio audience would soon abandon their seats and join the antics. Perhaps they should've; it may have helped.  

   The biggest time-waster was the sappy "arigatou" segment, plodding along with BGM piano dirge. Some accolades were endearing, even moving, but most presenters tried too hard. We got to see Rola feign tears, Yukina sobbing and other teary eyes, gents included. Even Tamori's teary eyes were visible through his thick black sunglasses. We got to see Katori Shingo at 17 when he started as a regular, at that time his smile wider than his head (now the opposite). We got to see host Tamori at the shows beginnings; oily haired, buck-toothed, shit-eating grin; pre-bubble "dasai" circa 1982. We got to see long-time regular Tsurube (27 years!) nearly as long ago. Tamori sang the full theme song lyrics the way he originally did. Then after all hero-worship was over, it wrapped faster than it started. Tamori thanked everyone in return and, with one more crowd chant of "ii tomo", that was that, and I was left rife with more complaints than compliments.  

   If Tamori really wanted to end it memorably, a best-of VTR compilation would've been a pleaser; isn't Prime Minister Abe visiting to pay his respects during the program's final week worthy of more than just passing mention? Clips of Tamori chatting with Hollywood royalty? A more experienced producer would've taken this in the direction of a America's White House Correspondents' Dinner" or 1970s Dean Martin celebrity roast; give peers a few minutes to lay it on, all in good fun, closing with a few sincere words of respect. Alas, Japanese viewers don't tune in for such intellectual sophistication. Instead, we got the easy-way-out tearjerker scenario, playing to viewer sentimentality; seemed more like a funerary memorial with the deceased present for the services. Television and film producers worldwide are guilty of this lard nowadays; the safety of kind words plays to a wider audience and draws higher ratings and, of course, advertisers. Luckily we were spared any words from Rui Kurihara

by K. Rie  column originally posted April 17, 2014

wanpatanterebi  archive

one pattern television ​​

naitteiitomo  cry if you like   part 2 

We hoped for the best... a fitting farewell to the end of a popular television program and its highly regarded host. Instead we got the worst. Should've expected it but, being fans of the program, we sat through it. Major English language news outlets in Japan made the obligatory announcement of Waratte Iitomo's departure; it is, after all, newsworthy Japanese television history in the passing. More revealing commentary came in the form of reader comments following said announcements, running the gamut from "Good riddance!" to "Japanese TV will never be the same!" to more pointed comments such as "Drunken Tamori groped my girlfriend while she was employed at the show!" We'll leave the latter insinuation to the proper authorities but…  

   Everything wrong about Japanese television was proven during Waratte Iitomo's "Grand Finale" broadcast the evening of March 31. The televised (ill-advised?) private party provided very little entertainment value; three hours of it. The opening segment was an awkward mutual admiration-fest between host Tamori and, via remote video, actress Yoshinaga Sayuri. We were left to assume that the actress may be Tamori's favorite, or possibly a long-lost love affair which may have existed. Whatever reasoning was behind this scheduling misfire is lost on this reviewer and went unclarified. Blank expressions were apparent even on the faces of the studio audience, an assemblage of past regulars of the show.  continued below... 


Roman alphabet abbreviations utilized as words, pronounced using a Japanese accent. In common usage and recognized as part of Japanese vocabulary.  

​BĪJĪEMU \ BGM \ ビージーエム

BackGround Music.     

BWĪTIĀRU \ VTR \ ヴィーティアール  

Video Tape Replay; instant replay. 

DĪBWĪ \ DV \ ディーヴィー  

Domestic Violence.     

DĪBWĪDĪ \ DVD \ ディーヴィーディー  

Digital Video Disc. 

ĒBWI; ĒVUI \ AV \ エーヴイ   

Adult Videos; Pornographic films (also PINKU EIGA \ ピンク映画; pink films)

EICHIPĪ \ HP \ エイチピー 

Home Page; internet website.     

JĒKĒ \ JK \ Joshi Kosei; 女子高生 

High school girl. Japanese compound word abbreviated using Roman alphabet: JOSHI (girl) + KOSEI (high school student). 

JĒĀRU \ JR \ ジェーアール  

Japan Railway; Japan's national rail network.     

ŌERU \ OL \ オーエル  

Office Lady; Subordinate role, female counterpart to ''salaryman'' (see ''business'' entry)

OKKĒ \ OK \ オッケー  

Transliteration corresponding to the English phrase; Agreement.     

PETTO (botoru) \ PET (bottle) \ PET ボトル 

PolyEthylene Terephthalate recyclable plastic container; Transliterated acronym using the English word ''pet'' — double consonant hard pause (TT) and requisite voweled suffix (O) — joined by the Japanglicised ''bottle''. 

PĪSHĪ \ PC \ ピーシー 
Personal Computer; traditional hard-drive based, desk-top computer. 

SHĪEMU \ CM \ シーエム 
Commercial Message; television commercial.


japanglish ACRONYMS undergoing expansion

© 2014


BARĒ \ ballet \ バレー  

Transliteration corresponding to the word's English definition; the dance genre.  


naitteiitomo  cry if you like   part 1 

This month (March, 2014) Japan will lose an institution of daytime television: Tamori-san's high-noon variety classic Waratte Iitomo! will shut its doors as of Monday, March 31st. Tamori has been overseeing the zaniness there for 30 years, holds a Guinness record as the longest-running host of any television show, and provided a spring-board for the slew of otherwise talentless tarento who have since gone on to insult viewer intelligence with lower and lesser projects. Proof of more serious influence was made undeniable by the recent appearance of Prime Minister Shinzō Abe himself, who chatted like old friends with Tamori and had many kind words for the retiring host. 

   Reasons for his retirement are unconfirmed, but who can blame him? Aside from the impressive time span, Tamori is now the Dinosaur in an increasingly Pamyu Pamyu world. His limitations as host over the years were mostly only apparent when interviewing female guests, which would inevitably turn to discussions of how to steam one's dumplings. Now more than ever viewers may easily discern some contempt as is apparent when visitors such as a certain pig-tailed, squeaky-voiced she-knows-who (yes, youMomo-Chi) makes an appearance. 

   Fans of this kind of programming can turn to Tamori's long-time competition, Hiru Nan Desu, if they have not already made the change. Hiru Nan Desu already panders to the much younger female audience which advertisers aim their wares. And what will become of regulars such as Rola or young Rui-kun? Rola's career is already set, and her presence arguably benefitted the program more than it benefitted her career. After taking this long to shed his "negative" gimmick and feel at ease in front of a tv camera, Rui will soon surely turn up making the rounds at other programs to keep his salary coming.

by K. Rie  column originally posted March 2, 2014 



xx & xx at bottom. 

XXXŌRU \ alcohol \ アルコール \

Liquor; alcoholic beverage (not rubbing alcohol). In Japanese, generally, SAKE \ サケ \ 酒. 

ARUKORIZUMU \ alcohol rhythm \ アルコリズム  

Nuanced contraction of the English words "ALCOhol" and RHYTHM, playing on the word "Alcoholism".  Describes one's predictable drunken demeanor; drunken behavior characteristic to a person.  

YOTTO \ yacht \ ヨット \  

Large, luxury boat. English word transliterated with a Japanese accent.